#35 Re-Education

Thank you to everyone for your support for what will be called "fat shaming incident #87"-- sadly this is not the first time this has happened to me. But after having a good sleep on it, I am still feeling really proud that I called to let this woman know how I felt. Not just a few minutes after my blog was posted, I received two phone calls from this woman and immediately my mind went to the worst possible scenario. Did she call to cuss me out? To tell me how fat I am? I was a little bit nervous to listen to the voicemails.

To my pleasant surprise, she left two voicemails apologizing. She said she never meant to make me feel like I needed to lose weight and expressed her guilt about the anger she'd caused me. She was actually really sweet. We even texted back and forth and talked a little about our mutual body issues-- what a strange but serendipitous interaction with a stranger. And I know next time, she'll think twice before she hands out her card to a proud curvaceous woman. It's true-- you can never really educate or expand someone's mind if you're not willing to express your thoughts, feelings, and opinions, albeit politely.

Below is what I wore last night. I'm especially excited to show you my new glasses, also bought from Fabulous Fanny's in the East Village. I'm kind of a hater and don't want to share my cool glasses secret with anyone, but... you can buy some of their frames online. ACK. Ok. Secret is out. There are so many hot bloggers that need to share their amazing glasses secrets, too! Hint hint. They're a little expensive, but they're really well made and have some frames that are really flattering on wider faces like mine.

I love the amber and clear! Just clear alone didn't look right on me.

The amber is almost the exact same color as my hair!

Top part of my outfit. Apartment is still in "just moved in" status one month later. Yikes!

Bottom half. LOVE the stripes.

Really old Sam Edelman shoes that have been doctored a little.

A pretty crapstastic picture of my necklace! Doesn't do it justice!

I love this place!

DRESS Striped Black & Tan Maxi Dress, Target | BELT Braided Cognac Stretchy Belt, Target | NECKLACE Bejeweled Elephant Pendant, Forever 21 | SHOES Rhinestone Leather Flats, Sam Edelman

#34 Standing Up to Fat Shaming

My hands are still shaking angrily a little as I write this, dear reader. But I hope that you will read my brief story and share it with others, to perhaps inspire more beautiful women to stand up to fat shaming.

I was at the grocery store tonight, and a woman in front of me, after commenting on my selection of granola bars, turned around and offered me her card, telling me that she was a personal trainer and I could call her any time. This small, but presumptuous action implies that she 1) thinks I'm fat, 2) is outwardly telling me I'm fat, 3) thinks there is something wrong with my body that should be fixed 4) assumes that I don't take care of my body or work out/already have a personal trainer, and 5) that she would be "willing" to be the one to fix my body. Really? I mean-- REALLY? I'm a teacher, so does that mean every time I meet someone stupid I can hand them my card and offer them an education to fix their mind?

I politely took the card without a word. Then, my forehead started burning, and I felt the anger and sadly, the shame, come rushing, blood red, to the front of my face. I didn't say a word, but as I walked out of the store, bags in hand, I fumbled to find the card she had given me and called the number on the phone. Straight to voicemail. But I left a message:

"My name is Sarah and I just met you at the grocery store. Thanks for your card, but I'm going to politely decline. Instead, I want to give you some constructive feedback. Offering me personal training when you don't even know me is offensive and implies there's something wrong with my body. I want you to understand that just because my body doesn't look like how YOU think it should look, doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with it or that you have the right to judge my body or offer me ways to 'fix' myself. It's offensive and presumptuous to assume that I need or want personal training, and although it might be hard for you to understand, I actually am quite happy with the way my body looks. Just because I'm not a size 4, doesn't mean I'm not beautiful, and doesn't mean I'm not healthy or content with the way I am. I wish you all the best with your personal training career, and I hope this feedback is helpful for you." *Click*

I'm learning to love my body and I won't let someone shame me into feeling like there's something wrong with it. Those kinds of remarks trigger so many emotions in me-- shame, anger, rage, sadness, defeat. But I won't let someone shame me anymore. It took a lot of courage to call her, but I'm glad I did, and I hope that she won't continue shaming others because they don't fit her cookie cutter model of what beautiful is. Please share/reblog my small story with others so that we can be reminded that we are beautiful and together, we can stand up against fat shaming. I never would have or could have done this without the inspiration of the beautiful fatshionable women of the blogosphere. Thank you to all of you who continue blogging. You inspire me to love my self, and to stand up for what's right.